Attention Men: Valentine’s Day is Upon Usby J. Robbin Yelverton on February 6, 2012 at 11:22 am
Attention: Men. Valentine’s Day is upon us. This annual celebration of love and romance has its origins in mystery, confusion, and dark secrets; lives lost in the pursuit of love, secret messages much like the modern day dating scene. So, with all this confusion and drama, how is a soldier supposed to come out of it, with his dog tags intact and his girl still talking to him? Well Private, follow these basic strategies and there’s a darn good chance Lady Luck will blow a hot kiss your way.
- When she says, “You don’t have to do anything special for me”: IT’S A LIE. Do not fall for this insidious trap. It is code speak. You bet you better do something nice or you’ll be kissing any chance of late night loving goodbye. Know the date: Tuesday, Feb. 14. Contact your local florist and have flowers delivered to her workplace. Fact: The more women that see your flowers and comment positively on them means the greater your chances of LNL (late night loving). And, don’t forget, most women prefer cool funky colored roses to red. Get your Romeo on by placing a single red rose like Red Intuition or Grand Prix right in the middle of an arrangement of novelty colored ones as a symbol of your love.
- Order early. And I don’t mean 0800 Valentine’s Day. Do you realize how many other troops will wake up that morning, smell the java and storm the flower shop? Place your order by Friday, Feb. 10 and you may even get an add-on such as a free balloon just for ordering in advance. Hint: Balloons attract attention in the office (enhanced LNL).
- Ask your florist to deliver the flowers with a large box of chocolates. FYI: Eating chocolate causes the brain to release endorphins, which are chemicals that make us feel good. Think about it. Endorphins = feeling good = LNL. Maybe you should wait and have the chocolates sitting on the bed with a romantic card when she gets home after work. Don’t want to rally the troops too early.
- Rations. Order her favorite take-out grub and pick it up on the way to the barracks. Don’t just serve it out of the bag; use the good mess kit with the nice flatware. Have flowers on the table. Research shows that flowers enhance moods and enjoyment.
- Vino. Red, white or rose’, you know what she likes. If you’re not sure which to buy, tell the wine guy what you’re having for dinner and let him suggest something appropriate.
- Spring for a bag or two of rose petals. Arrange them in the shape of a heart on the bed or in a bubble bath for two. Don’t forget the candles. Mood lighting, very important. Besides, we all look better out of fatigues in candlelight.
Listen to me, your Commanding Officer of Love. Follow these basic strategies and you will come out on the winning side of the V-day campaign. Besides, isn’t she worth the battle?
For more sure-fire advice, read Valentine’s Day Flower Trends.
What are your strategies for a winning Valentine’s Day?